Web Lecture 4- Four Dialectics

I enjoyed reading about the four dialectics: presence-absence, certainty-uncertainty, openness-closedness, and past-present in regard to the study done on women whose husbands suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.

The concepts reminded me of the movie The Notebook. In presence-absence Allie the main character(who has Alzheimer's disease) is physically present, but as the web lecture states she is also mentally and emotionally not there. To help ease this situation, in the movie Noah tries very hard to bring the memory back to Allie by retelling stories about their dates, first kiss, holding hands, and arguments.

The openness-closedness could be when Noah continues retelling stories, but at one point Allie got really terrified and totally flipped out when Noah was holding her hand. Allie’s respond was a big surprise which can relate to openness-closedness.

Chapter 11- Tactics Used In Disengagement

My good friend once told me a story about someone she met at work. This story is significant because he used withdrawal/avoidance tactics. They met at work and then they started hanging out on a few nights. As things were going good between them, things suddenly changed. He stopped calling her, he did not return any of her calls, and contact at work was very brief. In the end, she found out the he started things back up again with his ex girlfriend, so my friend totally just forgot about the guy.

Overall, I think the guy should of been honest to my friend instead of ignoring her and especially since they worked together they were bound to cross paths.

Chapter 10- Sharing Tasks

The fifth maintenance strategy the book talks about is sharing tasks on page 295. Sharing tasks is defined as performing one's share of the work in the relationship. I see this all the time with my older sister and her husband. The book uses the example one person cooks dinner and the other cleans up. Whenever I am at my sister's place, I know what role goes to who. If my sister cooks the dinner then her husband does the dishes. If her husband cooks then she has to do the dishes. Sometimes my sister usually gets off easy now since she is pregnant.

They both do equal share when doing the laundry or cleaning around certain areas of the house. Overall, I agree with the statement that sharing tasks is largely symbolic. It shows that the chores are not just for one person and shows your willingness to help your partner.

Chapter 9- Stages of Relational Escalation

I can relate to the first and second stage of relational escalation. The book talks about initiating as the first stage which is talked about on page 261. This stage involves coming into contact with someone. I think everyone can relate to this stage because we probably all met someone new for the first time at a party.

The next stage is experimenting. In this stage, you are basically trying to learn more about the other person such as their personality, likes and dislikes, hobbies, and career. I think experimenting is the best part because you can have a conversation and find out information about each other and you can see if you guys will click or not. You get a chance to share information about yourself and hopefully the person will be willing to do the same. I'm usually happy when I find something in common with a new person because then you know you can relate to each other.

Web Lecture- Impression Management

Web lecture 3 talks about how we engage in impression management everyday. For instance, when I am around my older sister I can act silly with her all the time. One time when I helped her vacuum her car we would just laugh because of the loud sound the vacuum makes. I know everyone is probably thinking that is really weird, but that’s how silly I can get when being around my sister.

In the classroom, I am a total different person. I hardly ever talk in class unless someone needs help or has a question. I usually just sit there and take my notes. Overall, in the classroom setting I feel like being silly is inappropriate and I just need to be professional.

When I am around my friends it is nonstop loudness and everyone calls me giggles because I am the one always laughing.

Overall, from reading the web lecture I can now see how impression management does relate to everyday life.

Chapter 8- Refusals

In the section of refusals it talks about how anyone can apply the categories to accounts we hear every day or on TV shows. I was a big fan of the show The OC. I knew I could apply some of the categories and relate it back to the show. For example, evasion is when the person pretends that nothing happened and ignores the predicament. This can relate back to The OC because in one episode the main character Ryan Atwood kisses his ex-girlfriend Theresa, and at the time he was still with his current girlfriend Marissa Cooper. In the episode, he totally ignores the situation then later I think the truth was eventually out in the open.

Another example would be when Summer and Seth started seeing other people, but Seth still wanted to know about what Summer was doing and who she was going out with. This is an example of the concept denying the right to reproach talked about on page 222. Which refers to asking a person to explain his or her behavior.

Sorry for those who cannot relate back to the show, but maybe some of you have seen the show.

Chapter 7- Factors Affecting the Manner of Self- Disclosure

It was interesting reading about the factors that influence self-disclosure. The book talks about how before women will disclose, they find it more important that the receiver be trustworthy, sincere, respected, and a good listener (pg. 201). I agree with all of those qualities because I would not be able to disclose anything personal to someone I meet for the first time and not know anything about their personality. I have a hard time trusting people I meet for the first time because I need to first feel comfortable around them and know them inside and out before any self-disclosing can be done. When I have to self-disclose information it is usually to my older sister or best friend. I have build a strong relationship with them already, so it doesn’t matter what I have to tell them. I know I can count on them for feedback when dealing with rough situations.

Chapter 6- Online and Off-Line Self-Presentation

In Chapter 6 it was interesting reading about how people present themselves online. The book mentions a statement that “CMC interactions have higher proportion of more intimate, or core, questions and statements and a lower proportion of peripheral questions and statements.” (p. 175). I have to agree with this statement because when I have conversations on AIM with my friends I can usually ask them about anything dealing with relationships or family issues. I prefer to have conversations face-to-face, but the convenience of having the person on at that same time helps when I need to talk to someone.

The book also talks about how “people spent more time backspacing, deleting, inserting, and rearranging text when they wanted to impress the receiver.” I do this all the time because I never want my messages to have grammatical or spelling errors. I make sure my sentences are correctly stated before they are sent to anyone from my family, friends, or professors because I do not want others to get a sense that I did not take the time to read over my messages. Overall, I am very aware of my self-presentation when sending e-mails and text online.

Chapter 16- Adaptability

A concept that resonated with me in Chapter 16 was adaptability on page 506. Communicative adaptability can be defined as being able to adjust behaviors and goals under different conditions.

I found this concept meaningful because it relates to when I babysit my four year old nephew. When taking care of him I have to have the ability to change my behavior around him. I cannot just simply yell at my nephew or demand orders from him, I have to keep my social composure and act rationally around him. I basically have to keep calm in situations where he doesn’t want to sleep for a nap. I definitely would not cuss around him. I basically want my nephew to know that he is cared about, so whenever he goes down for a nap I make sure he knows that once he wakes up we'll be able to play again.

I always try to use wit around my nephew because he is at the age where anything is funny to him. I remember a few times when he fell down from running around on the grass and the playground, but to alleviate his embarrassment I would just clap my hands and say “its ok” and not draw attention to the bruise, but just act happy around him so he wouldn’t cry.

Chapter 14- Communication Apprehension

A concept that resonated with me in Chapter 14 was communication apprehension on pg. 449.

Last semester I did a paper on bilingual children and communication apprehension was talked about in a few articles that I read when writing my paper. Communication apprehension can be defined as an “individual’s level of fear or anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with another person or persons.”

As the book focuses more on anxiety of speaking in public and being evaluated on their communication skills, I also want to discuss how communication apprehension (CA) can occur in a person’s native language, or in a second language. CA is a big deal because if CA is high one language, then it is important to make sure CA is not present learning a second language. For example a person may be very fluent in speaking French, but may experience CA in another language(second language learned) such as English. So if ever asked to speak in their second language then the person may feel highly apprehensive to do so.

Overall, I thought this topic was interesting to read about because I have done previous research on CA before.

Chapter 5- Knowledge Structures- Schemata

In Chapter 5, a concept that resonated with me was schemata pg. 125. Schemata is defined as developed knowledge structures. The structures we make allows us to “interpret, remember, and organize new information.”

I found this concept meaningful because I can relate to knowledge structures. I can relate to the example the book talks about. I am always curious about the first day of class when we meet new students, see how the teacher presents themselves, and the material of the class. The first day of class follows a specific routine which I can remember from previous years of being in school. I am familiar with the process, so it is easy for me to remember what will go on during the first day. I already know the straight forward process of getting an introduction of the class, an overview of their specific grading, and what is expected from us. Overall, this allows me to make sense of what is going on.

Chapter 4 Concept

A concept that resonated with me in Chapter 4 was listening anxiety, which is on pg. 96. Listening anxiety is defined as “the temporary anxiety that may accompany certain stages of listening.”

I found this concept meaningful because it can relate to a business night class I had. It all started when I had a midterm that day and the professor wanted to lecture on some new material first. Everyone was complaining and saying “lets just take the midterm already”, but the professor insisted we hear the new material since our class meets only one day a week. Some students even wanted the professor to lecture, but the only reason why was because they saw it as an opportunity to study more and review their notes. Overall, the professor finally realized that everyone who not even bother to listen to the new material, so he handed out the midterm.

I can relate to how the book mentions that anxiety increases when students realize they have to retain new material. I knew if the professor would lecture on new material, I would definitely have a high level of listening anxiety because I would be more concerned about the midterm material than what the professor actually has to lecture about.

Week 1

Hello!

This is my second time taking an online class, I was previously enrolled in COMM 155 with Professor Coopman. I am Business major with a concentration in Human Resource Management. My minor is in Communication Studies. I really have enjoyed all the communication classes I have taken here at San Jose State.

Some of my interest include going to concerts, skateboarding, watching movies, babysitting, and trying new desserts. I am a sucker for anything sweet.
My two nephews mean the world to me. One is four years old and the other one is just a newborn, he is going to be three months this June.

A concept that resonated with me was haptics. Haptics falls under the category of kinesic behavior which involves touches. In my culture, whenever we see a relative, friend, or new acquaintance we usually greet that person with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This is just a specific way my culture shows respect to another person. I know in other cultures some contact such as a kiss on the cheek may not even be allowed.

I'm looking forward to reading everyone's blog :)