Web Lecture 4- Four Dialectics

I enjoyed reading about the four dialectics: presence-absence, certainty-uncertainty, openness-closedness, and past-present in regard to the study done on women whose husbands suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.

The concepts reminded me of the movie The Notebook. In presence-absence Allie the main character(who has Alzheimer's disease) is physically present, but as the web lecture states she is also mentally and emotionally not there. To help ease this situation, in the movie Noah tries very hard to bring the memory back to Allie by retelling stories about their dates, first kiss, holding hands, and arguments.

The openness-closedness could be when Noah continues retelling stories, but at one point Allie got really terrified and totally flipped out when Noah was holding her hand. Allie’s respond was a big surprise which can relate to openness-closedness.

Chapter 11- Tactics Used In Disengagement

My good friend once told me a story about someone she met at work. This story is significant because he used withdrawal/avoidance tactics. They met at work and then they started hanging out on a few nights. As things were going good between them, things suddenly changed. He stopped calling her, he did not return any of her calls, and contact at work was very brief. In the end, she found out the he started things back up again with his ex girlfriend, so my friend totally just forgot about the guy.

Overall, I think the guy should of been honest to my friend instead of ignoring her and especially since they worked together they were bound to cross paths.

Chapter 10- Sharing Tasks

The fifth maintenance strategy the book talks about is sharing tasks on page 295. Sharing tasks is defined as performing one's share of the work in the relationship. I see this all the time with my older sister and her husband. The book uses the example one person cooks dinner and the other cleans up. Whenever I am at my sister's place, I know what role goes to who. If my sister cooks the dinner then her husband does the dishes. If her husband cooks then she has to do the dishes. Sometimes my sister usually gets off easy now since she is pregnant.

They both do equal share when doing the laundry or cleaning around certain areas of the house. Overall, I agree with the statement that sharing tasks is largely symbolic. It shows that the chores are not just for one person and shows your willingness to help your partner.

Chapter 9- Stages of Relational Escalation

I can relate to the first and second stage of relational escalation. The book talks about initiating as the first stage which is talked about on page 261. This stage involves coming into contact with someone. I think everyone can relate to this stage because we probably all met someone new for the first time at a party.

The next stage is experimenting. In this stage, you are basically trying to learn more about the other person such as their personality, likes and dislikes, hobbies, and career. I think experimenting is the best part because you can have a conversation and find out information about each other and you can see if you guys will click or not. You get a chance to share information about yourself and hopefully the person will be willing to do the same. I'm usually happy when I find something in common with a new person because then you know you can relate to each other.

Web Lecture- Impression Management

Web lecture 3 talks about how we engage in impression management everyday. For instance, when I am around my older sister I can act silly with her all the time. One time when I helped her vacuum her car we would just laugh because of the loud sound the vacuum makes. I know everyone is probably thinking that is really weird, but that’s how silly I can get when being around my sister.

In the classroom, I am a total different person. I hardly ever talk in class unless someone needs help or has a question. I usually just sit there and take my notes. Overall, in the classroom setting I feel like being silly is inappropriate and I just need to be professional.

When I am around my friends it is nonstop loudness and everyone calls me giggles because I am the one always laughing.

Overall, from reading the web lecture I can now see how impression management does relate to everyday life.

Chapter 8- Refusals

In the section of refusals it talks about how anyone can apply the categories to accounts we hear every day or on TV shows. I was a big fan of the show The OC. I knew I could apply some of the categories and relate it back to the show. For example, evasion is when the person pretends that nothing happened and ignores the predicament. This can relate back to The OC because in one episode the main character Ryan Atwood kisses his ex-girlfriend Theresa, and at the time he was still with his current girlfriend Marissa Cooper. In the episode, he totally ignores the situation then later I think the truth was eventually out in the open.

Another example would be when Summer and Seth started seeing other people, but Seth still wanted to know about what Summer was doing and who she was going out with. This is an example of the concept denying the right to reproach talked about on page 222. Which refers to asking a person to explain his or her behavior.

Sorry for those who cannot relate back to the show, but maybe some of you have seen the show.

Chapter 7- Factors Affecting the Manner of Self- Disclosure

It was interesting reading about the factors that influence self-disclosure. The book talks about how before women will disclose, they find it more important that the receiver be trustworthy, sincere, respected, and a good listener (pg. 201). I agree with all of those qualities because I would not be able to disclose anything personal to someone I meet for the first time and not know anything about their personality. I have a hard time trusting people I meet for the first time because I need to first feel comfortable around them and know them inside and out before any self-disclosing can be done. When I have to self-disclose information it is usually to my older sister or best friend. I have build a strong relationship with them already, so it doesn’t matter what I have to tell them. I know I can count on them for feedback when dealing with rough situations.